Repost: Hard Doesn't Mean Bad or Wrong

I wrote this back in 2015, and have been thinking about it a lot lately. The last two months... year... five years... seventeen years... have all been difficult. Really difficult. And just as I predicted eight years ago, it has only gotten harder as time has gone on. My younger self honestly had a better outlook on it than my older, much more weary self does, and I needed to re-read these encouraging words. Maybe you do, too, so I'm sharing it again:

I've been chewing on a thought lately that I need to get out. I'm not sure how eloquently I'll get it out, but I'm going to try.

Just because something is hard, doesn't mean that it's bad or wrong.

Actually, I would argue that hard is good, and if you aren't doing anything hard, then you're probably doing something wrong.

I just thought this was a great picture for a post about doing hard things.

Because God doesn't mold us into being more like Christ through the easy stuff. Think back on the times when you grew the most in your faith. For me it has been our first move to a new city after we got married, infertility, Jude's autism, moving back from Moldova, miscarriage and more infertility, Josh struggling to find work, foster adoption... these have been the times that have been so hard, I didn't know if I could go on. The times that have left me sobbing before God and sometimes before a person or two whom I trust. The times that have made me cling to Jesus for dear life, and instead of walk away from him, say with Simon Peter, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:68)

One of Jude's first therapy sessions. Autism has brought us to our knees probably more than anything else.

But for as desperately, miserably hard as those times have been, they have also been the sweetest times of fellowship with and comfort from God that I have ever known, and I look back on them not with regret or pain, but deep fondness and thankfulness to God for drawing me nearer to him through them. Not just for getting me through them, but for bringing me into them in the first place.

Would I have chosen to go through those times? Not a chance. Does it make me uneasy to think about the times he will bring me into and through in the future? A bit. Because if there's one thing I've learned in my 12 years of walking with God, it's that the trials that strengthen our faith and trust in God are like lifting weights--they get harder and heavier each time. But they are so worth it for the sake of a stronger faith in God, knowing and loving him more deeply, and showing his glory more clearly to those around me.

That M.Div. was worth it, but it was not an easy few years.

Think about Elisabeth Elliot, who just passed on to Heaven. Everyone who is familiar with her story looks at her in awe and wishes for just a small measure of her faith in God. But look at everything she suffered in her life, and how she clung to God through them! Our faith is small not because there was anything special about Elisabeth Elliot from a human perspective, but because we shrink away from anything that might be hard or make us uncomfortable or encroach on our American Dream, and by the grace of God she didn't. There is a reason Paul wrote to us in Romans:

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings,
knowing that suffering produces endurance,
and endurance produces character,
and character produces hope,
and hope does not put us to shame,
because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 ESV, emphasis mine)

We REJOICE in our sufferings!

So I'm learning to lean in to the hard. Not necessarily to go looking for it, but to embrace it when it comes or when God calls us into a path that we know will be hard. Because I don't want a complacent life where I never grow more into the image of Christ. I don't want an easy life that even an unbeliever could live, where God's power, love, comfort, and eternal worth aren't put on display for his glory. I want to know him and make him known through the hard times.

Don't believe the lie that hard things are bad.

If you feel God calling you to do something that will be hard, don't shrink from it. It could be the best thing you've ever done.

And the hard thing you're going through may be really awful right now, but if you hold fast to God, someday you will look back on it with thanulness when you remember the depth of comfort and faith that met you there.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (Romans 8:18 ESV)

Giving up Facebook

I've never given anything up for Lent before, but I decided to quietly give up Facebook for Lent this year. I had Josh change my password to something I didn't know, and logged out on all of my devices. I didn't even announce that I was doing it, because I was afraid I wouldn't make it. But the longer I went without it, the happier I was.

There are so many good things about Facebook. I love the ability to keep in touch with friends and family who don't live near me, and to know what is going on in your lives. I love the support I've found and wisdom I've gleaned from several groups there: one for local parents of kids with disabilities, one for people on the GAPS diet, one for our homeschool group, etc. I love how easy it is to share pictures and videos with my parents who have yet to get smartphones, but are on Facebook.

But I've realized that Facebook has a way of tempting me to sin in ways that are already struggles for me.

Selfishness and pride are fed as I constantly check to see who has liked my pictures or posts, and if there are any new comments on them.

Covetousness and seeds of doubt about God's goodness toward me fill my heart every time a new pregnancy announcement pops up, or I scroll past a video of a typically developing kid doing or saying things that Jude can't.

Laziness creeps in as I think, "I'll just check Facebook really quickly," and then suddenly realize I've been sitting on it for an hour, ignoring my son and my home.

Those are not pretty things to admit to, but there they are.

A clean kitchen is still not always easy for me to achieve, but was almost impossible before giving up Facebook.

I just wanted to share all of that in order to show that I'm not saying Facebook is inherently bad. I don't think you are sinning for being on Facebook. I have plenty of friends who don't struggle with these particular sins, and who don't spend much time on Facebook. But for me, it brought out a number of ugly sins, and I let it go on for way too long.

I'm not deactivating my account just yet. There is so much history in the pages of my timeline, and I need to find a way to save all of that before deactivating. If you know of an easy way to do that, please tell me. And please do so in a comment here, not on Facebook, since I've decided to keep things the way they were for Lent and remain logged off.

Almost three years ago.

Giving up Facebook won't cure my heart of these sins. Like I said, they are ones that I already struggled with. But Facebook seems to be like a magnifying glass or megaphone with these sins, making them bigger and louder in my heart, and so much more difficult to defeat.

I would like to challenge you to consider the effect Facebook has on your heart and life, if any. Do you only get on occasionally to see what people are up to, or to post a new photo, and then you have no trouble walking away from it? Or do you spend hours every day on it, neglecting your kids, home, or job? Do you feel an almost uncontrollable compulsion to check every few minutes to see if someone new has commented on something you posted? Do you genuinely rejoice with others when God blesses them with a new baby, car, home, or job? Or do you find jealousy and covetousness clouding your heart as you scroll past these happy announcements?

While many people aren't tempted to sin by Facebook, I can't be the only one with these struggles, and I can't be the only one who would benefit from logging off.

An Easter Grammar Lesson: He is Risen

Sitting here on this snowy April 15th morning (yes, in Kentucky), I got the idea to do an Easter bunting with Jude as part of our school work. I could print out the letter outlines and he could color them, and then together we could glue them onto bunting flags and hang them in our new standard bunting location: across the big map in the dining room, as seen below with the fall leaves Jude painted back in November:

It didn't take me long to decide I wanted the bunting to say, "He is risen." Or is it, "He has risen?" I googled. It's definitely, "He is risen." But why?

Wait a second. Haven't I been here before? Yes, I have! I had the same issue come up a couple of years ago (or FOUR.... goodness, how time flies) when I made a Christmas bunting that said, "The Lord is Come."

As I learned while making that bunting, the now practically extinct unaccusative intransitive form of risen, in this case, actually packs more of a theological punch than you might expect at first glance. 

To say, "He has risen," puts the emphasis on the action of rising, and implies that Jesus is the one who initiated the rising.

But to say, "He is risen," puts the emphasis on the fact that he is now alive, and implies that Jesus is not the one who initiated this rising, but that he was raised by the Father.

I know grammar isn't the most exciting thing in the world, but I hope that moves you like it does me. Have a blessed Holy Week and Resurrection/Easter Sunday, friends.

*****

ETA: Since writing this, I've realized that most translations actually do say, "He has risen" in Matthew 28, but the KJV says, "He is risen." Warning: serious grammar nerdiness ahead. Proceed at your own risk.

I asked my Greek scholar husband to look at it for me in the Greek, and he said that "risen" is in the aorist tense, which isn't marked as a specific form of past tense, so it is free to be interpreted either as:

1. "He is risen."

2. " He has risen."
or
3. " He was raised."

I thought it was interesting that the aorist tense can also be used to emphasize the success of an effort. God raising Jesus from the dead was certainly a success, as was the more overarching effort of Jesus' perfect life, his becoming our sin on the cross and dying in our stead, and his conquering of death and Satan in his resurrection.

So, although "He has risen," is certainly not incorrect, I like the emphasis that the KJV form of this sentence gives us. Like I said before, it packs more of an inherent theological punch than the others.

The Bitter Blessing of Autism Spectrum Disorder

I know I have woefully neglected my blog lately. I've been so busy with four therapists, chiropractor visits, cooking, cleaning, laundry, playing with Jude, photography and editing pictures late into the night, and trying to squeeze in little bits of quality time with Josh, that blogging has all but completely fallen off my radar.

Josh, on the other hand, has been blogging more than ever, and has some really amazing things to say. If you don't already follow his blog, please visit him at GospelLife. I promise, you will come away encouraged.

He posted something today that is deeply personal for both of us, and so I wanted to share it here as well, with his permission, of course. You can read the original post on his blog here. Below are his words, but from both of our hearts. I hope that you will be touched and encouraged by it:

No one plans to have a child on the autism spectrum. We review the worlds that we create in our prenatal imaginations and declare, “It is good.” Sure, there are scraped knees and runny noses in those worlds, but we imagine our children to be unhindered by diseases, disorders, or disabilities. In our minds, we create our children in our own image, only better than ourselves. Of course, to some degree or another, we all lose that imaginary world. It just isn’t possible. No child is perfect.

 We weren’t surprised when a psychologist diagnosed Jude with Autism Spectrum Disorder earlier this month. The diagnosis was only the culmination of what had been a growing suspicion over the past year. In fact, in many ways, we felt relieved by the diagnosis. We finally knew what was wrong. We finally knew what we were up against. Even so, this knowledge didn’t make life easier. You can never truly appreciate the value of communication until you have a child who cannot communicate. I will never look at words the same after parenting a child who doesn’t know how to use them and only uses whines, screams, and cries in their place. Few things break a parent’s heart more than being unable to give their child words of comfort.

 My prenatal imagination was an arrogant act of self-worship, and God, in his kindness, chose to destroy that idolatry. I do not mean that Jude’s autism is God’s punishment for my sin. “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom 8:1). Rather, for the Christian, the trials of this life are means of grace whereby God delivers us from our sin and makes us more like Christ. Paul encouraged the new churches of Galatia with this very thought: “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). God is preparing us for his kingdom. God is taking us down that path, and we know that we are truly on the glorious pilgrimage through the mass of tribulations that we face. Like the newly liberated nation of Israel, he does not take us to the Promised Land via the direct highway because the hard, meandering route through the wilderness displays God’s glory to a greater degree, and only by seeing his all-sufficient, all-satisfying glory in the desert will we be prepared to behold him in the renewed earth where his glory shines like the sun.

 I pray that Jude will be healed. I pray that his therapy and diet will be effective, but I don’t question the path of my pilgrimage. I don’t resent the fact that I have a child on the autism spectrum. I am happy and blessed to be Jude’s father. As John Piper has titled a book, this providence is simultaneously sweet and bitter, but I am convinced that God’s world is better than my world. Even though this world is fallen, almighty God continues to direct even the brokenness, in some inexplicable way, for the good of his people and the glory of his name. I praise God for the blessing of Jude. I even praise God for the bitter blessing of Autism Spectrum Disorder.

The Cure for Self-Pity

Jude having a blast with Mrs. Laura during his most recent speech therapy session.

Josh blogged today over at Gospel Life about some of the emotions he's struggled with as we travel this journey of parenting Jude.

Even so, we cannot help but wonder, “Why?,” and along with the “why” questions comes a host of “what” questions: What caused this delay? What could we have done to prevent it? What have we done to compound the problem?

One night as I lay quietly in bed after a long, weary day, these questions multiplied like a spiritual virus. These infectious agents manifest themselves as the spiritual disease of self-pity. Self-pity destroys our vitality by removing our gaze from Him who gives abundant life and turning our gaze inward—Why me? What could I have done? What should I do?

But the doctrine of God’s providence silences the Satanic lies of self-pity.

My husband's words are a peaceful reminder of the Father's love for us, no matter what situation you find yourself in. You can read the rest of the article here: The Cure for Self-Pity.

I'm planning to write a follow-up to what I wrote in March about Jude's language development,  but until I get around to it, I'll let this serve as a sort of mini-update.

A Tantrum and the Peace of God

I tweeted the other day that I think my husband is the most brilliant Bible scholar who has ever lived, and I meant it. He is constantly telling me all sorts of awesome insights into Scripture and I always ask him if it's something he thought of on his own or if he read it somewhere, and 9 times out of 10, he has thought of it on his own. Okay, so maybe I'm a bit biased to judge him as the MOST brilliant Bible scholar EVER, but seriously, he's pretty awesome. He's said before that he's thankful that I think so highly of him, but he's more thankful that he knows better than to let it go to his head. I say, if your wife isn't your biggest cheerleader, then who will be, right?

Anyway, he has just posted an awesome article on our mission website, GospelLife, called A Tantrum and the Peace of God, that is well worth your time to read. Provoked by one of Jude's many tantrums (we are in the terrible twos now, you know), Josh had this thought:

The peace of God is not some metaphysical thing that comes from knowledge about God. Peace belongs to God and comes from God. Peace is Divine, but we cannot have peace apart from God. We should not picture God as remaining somewhere far off and sending us a package that contains the gift of peace. No, the peace of God is knowing and enjoying the presence of God. Peace is not something. It is Someone.

Jude needs something more than knowing his father’s plan or even knowing that his father has a plan. Jude needs to know his daddy. He needs to know my character, enjoy my love, and trust my goodness.  

 Trust me, you want to read the rest. It's good.

Reclaiming Adoption

Josh just posted a great (if I do say so myself) review of the new book, Reclaiming Adoption on our website.  It's definitely worth clicking over to read, which you can do here.

Scripture Memorization Made Easy

I was sitting with Jude the other day and singing to him along with one of the Seeds Family Worship albums, when I realized how much scripture I'd memorized just from listening to their music.  We all learn the words to songs almost effortlessly as we listen to them.  Think about all of the songs that you could sing from memory... now think about all of the scripture you can recite from memory.  Embarassed?  I am.

But Seeds understands what a great memorization tool music can be and has made six albums that are all scripture set to music.  The ministry is aimed at families, but you don't have to have kids (or kids of scripture memorizing age) to enjoy this music--it's not too kid-ish for adults.

Possibly the best part is that you can listen to all of their albums for free on their website.  Just go here: Seeds Family Worship- Listen Online. We've listened to them that way for a long time now, and have just started buying the albums on iTunes with some Christmas money.  We listen to it all of the time at home, and we are excited about finally being able to listen to it in the car too.

They also have resources on their website for family worship, worship leaders, and children's ministers.  Also, under the kids section, you can download printable memorization cards and a checklist.

Seeds doesn't know who I am and I'm not getting paid anything to sing their praises.  This is just something that we are really enjoying right now and I wanted to pass it on to my friends.

Why I Loved Evan Almighty

This is an old post that I wrote many, many moons ago on my xanga blog back when Evan Almighty first came out.  Several influential Christian leaders, who hadn't even seen the movie, were blogging their reasons why Christians shouldn't go see the movie.  I, in response, felt the need to inform my little corner of the xanga world (and anybody else who might stumble upon my blog) why the movie was actually worth watching.  I thought it deserved to be re-published here before I finally shut down that old blog:



I loved the way this movie portrayed God.  God was personal.  He was conversational.  He was not "the big guy in the sky" that many people believe him to be.  I loved at the end when Evan is doing the dance that his whole family teases him about; God is doing the dance with him and laughing.  I like the picture of God enjoying my silliness as I enjoy the life that He has blessed me with, because I believe that's what He truly does.

I loved many of the very pointed statements that are made about the character of God.  At one point he asks Joan (Lorelai Gilmore... probably more recognizable than her real name) something to the effect of: "When someone prays for courage, do you think God gives them courage, or does he give them a moment to be courageous? When someone prays for the family to be closer, does he sprinkle around happiness, or does he give them an opportunity to be closer?"  There is also a part where Evan doesn't understand why God is asking him to build an ark, and God tells him, "Everything I do, I do because I love you."  And then later when Evan is really struggling, he reminds himself of this.  There are several more.  Oh, my favorite one is when Evan says, "But this isn't a part of my plans!!" and God just absolutely cracks up laughing and says (through gasps, cause he's laughing so hard), "YOUR plan?!?!  HAHAHAHAHA!!"

I loved how it showed God getting his message to Evan.  God doesn't always work in the same ways, and I would say that it is rarely as blatant as presented in this movie, but I have had personal experiences where God gets his message across to me by "coincidences" that occur enough times that His direction in your life becomes inescapable.  And even more general than that, through these "coincidences" in Evan's life, the movie displays God's sovereignty over all things.  At the end of the movie, Evan expresses his amazement with how God orchestrated everything so perfectly.

I loved that they didn't try to act like this was a new flood, or that God had gone back on His promise in the Noah story, or that this was supposed to BE the Noah story.  It's very clear that none of those is the case.  It's hard to say much more about that without giving a major part of the story away, so I'll leave it at that.  It did, however, make real to me some of the reactions that Noah probably faced when building the ark.

I loved that this movie was HILARIOUS.  Seriously.  I laughed out loud more times than I can count, and I'm not one that generally laughs very much in movies.  And there's this one scene toward the end where they're in the boat and go over this waterfall and I literally grabbed both armrests and leaned way back and got that same weird feeling like when you get to the top of a big roller coaster and are about to go flying down a steep drop!  It was great!

I loved that it was clean and wholesome.  Period.

I loved that this was a "green" movie.  This is something Josh and I learned while researching it before it came out in theaters.  All the landscaping, lumber, windows and other reusable materials were donated to Habitat for Humanity.  All crew members were given bicycles by director Tom Shadyac to reduce car usage.  Learn more about that here: http://www.getonboardnow.org/comedy.html

One thing I didn't love was the movie's interpretation of the Noah story being all about love and not wrath.  I disagree with that.  However, I know that there are a lot of Christians out there who would agree with it and I'm not going to call them heretics just because of that one nonessential point.

So there's my review!

Why "My Messy Manger?"

You may be wondering why I chose such an unusual title for this blog, and an even more unusual Bible verse for my tagline:

"Where there are no oxen the manger is clean, but abundant crops come by the strength of the ox."  Proverbs 14:4

No, I'm not an ox farmer.

I was inspired by Mark Chanski's amazing book, Womanly Dominion: More Than A Gentle and Quiet Spirit.  In the chapter "Womanly Dominion in Child Rearing--Part 1," Chanski uses the principle behind this verse to encourage Godly mothers to accept a certain degree of upheaval in their homes during the season of their lives that they are raising children.

He contrasts an immaculate but unproductive barn with a soiled but profitable barn.  This is an easy concept for anyone who has ever been in a barn to understand.  If there are animals in it, it's not only going to be messy, it's also going to require a lot of work.  He puts it this way:

Step into the "ox-inhabited" barn.  Whew!  The manure, urine, hay, mud, and flies make it anything but fresh and sweet in here.  Here comes Farmer Elimelech with a shovel over his shoulder to clean up the mess.  He's late this morning.  He was up at two a.m. to help deliver an ox calf.  It's a huge task to feed, house, and look after these enormous beasts.  Why does he put up with all the grief, messiness, and aggravation? ... These mighty plodders knife open the soil, enabling the nestling of the seed in rows, resulting in the eventual swaying of wheat and barley, the overflowing of barns, the rolling of full wagons to the marketplace, the piling of the kitchen table high with bounty, and the providing of riches for one's family and heritage.   

Sure, the barn is not very tidy, immaculate, or fresh smelling, but the yield, the increase makes it a far better barn than the first. 

Later, he contrasts the immaculate but unproductive house with a soiled but profitable home.  This is the part that inspires me anew every time I read it:

But if a mother is bent on raising up mighty children, capable children, bold, brave, daring, adventuresome, God-fearing, dominion-minded children, then she needs to "kiss goodbye" any aspirations of immaculate tranquility.  Oxen who go out and turn the soil over, and children who go out and turn the world upside down, make messes.  But the woman of dominion is willing to pay the price of domestic upheaval for the prospects of kingdom profit.

Now, lest I think that I can neglect my home under the excuse of raising Godly, messy oxen, Chanski reminds me:

Now, remember Kidner's important qualification: "This proverb is not a plea for slovenliness."  A woman of dominion will strive to maintain an orderly household.  An overgrown yard, ransacked rooms, and a sink stacked high with dirty dishes do not glorify the God who loves things being "done properly and in an orderly manner" (1 Corinthians 14:40; also numerous Proverbs). 

This blog is a chronicle of my family's adventures as I strive to raise "children who go out and turn the world upside down," while at the same time glorifying God in the often mundane details of keeping my home orderly.  This is NOT a how-to guide, because I am LEARNING.

Please, come settle in at the table with me over some mugs of strong coffee and learn along with me.

Long Story Short

This is a post written by my husband and posted on our mission website, GospelLife.  I wanted to share it here as well:

One of the most exciting and challenging aspects of being a dad is leading family worship.  Fathers have the duty and privilege to train their children in the fear of the Lord, and the best way to do this is little-by-little, consistently over time.

To help with this task is the new book Long Story Short: Ten Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God.  The current volume covers the Old Testament.   The New Testament volume is still forthcoming.

I have read the introduction and a preview of the first two weeks of devotions, which are available here.  Let me outline a few reasons why I am excited about this resource and why you should check it out too:

It is simple. You don’t need an hour every night.  All you need is ten minutes, five times a week--fifty minutes a week.  Furthermore, all that is needed for dad to prepare is a simple read through--at most five minutes.  That makes discipling your children not feel like such an impossible undertaking.  You can let the Word of God transform your children’s lives with only fifty minutes a week.

It spans age ranges.  The author explains in the introduction how with some tweaking the material can target children from four to teenagers, and also how to use the material when you have a combination of ages and maturities.

It is creative. Every week begins with a creative activity or object lesson to introduce the week’s topic.  Almost every day contains an illustration to help the kids understand.

It is systematic and comprehensive. The entire curriculum for both Old and New Testaments will take a family three years to complete.  The topics and stories are intentionally chosen to give your child a comprehensive knowledge of the Bible.  Once you have finished the three years, then it is time to start over again since about every three years your child reaches a new developmental stage.  They will be able to think about the stories and questions in a way that is different and more complex than in the previous cycle.

It combines teaching of stories with teaching of the Story. This is probably one of my favorite parts.  It is hard to find resources that both teach the details of individual Bible stories and show how it connects to the great Narrative of Scripture--the Story of Jesus.  One night of every week is spent showing how the current topic connects to Jesus.  Many resources simply give Bible stories with moral lessons, but the story of David and Goliath, for example, is not about having courage in the face of adversity.  It is about how God’s anointed king is empowered to destroy the enemies of God, which points us to King Jesus.  In the “Introduction to Parents,” the author explains:



A man-centered gospel is always threatening to supplant the cross-centered gospel we read in the Bible. But if we trade Jesus, who bore our sins and received the wrath of God, for a Jesus who is merely a good example, we don’t have the same gospel. If we remove a call to repentance and replace it with an invitation to be God’s friend, we’re not passing on the treasure of the gospel in accordance with the Scriptures (p. 1).



So, you can trust this resource for both Bible knowledge and Gospel-centrality.

It gets children to use their Bibles. This is not a Bible storybook.  Bible storybooks have their place, but this is a book to be used alongside your Bible.  Children will turn to and read directly from the Bible rather than just being told about what the Bible says.

It is not based in a  particular translation. When quoting from Scripture the book uses the ESV and NIV, but the questions and answers are not bound by the words of a particular translation.  So, you are free to use whatever translation your family chooses.  In my opinion, it is best to use a single translation throughout a child’s life rather than using a “simpler” translation like the NIV or NLT when children are young, and then graduating children to a more literal translation like the NKJV or ESV.  Gone are the days when all English speakers read, know, and quote from the same translation.  However, in your home, it is good to be consistent, and thereby plant the words of Scripture firmly in the minds of children.  Children will passively memorize Scripture through repetition, just like many of us who grew up in Christian homes can almost quote verbatim passages from the KJV that we have never tried to memorize.  Therefore, I think it best to stick with one translation throughout a child’s life, and I think a literal translation is best.  We use the ESV in our home, and this resource allows for that choice.

Jude is still too young to use this book yet, but we are looking forward to the time when we can give it a real test-drive.  However, those of you with children a little older should go ahead and check it out.  God will bless you as you are faithful to teach your children the words of Scripture and bring them before the throne of God in prayer.

Preview and Buy Online

Foxes Have Holes...

October 20^th (I know, I’m a little behind in posting this) officially marked a milestone in Jude’s life.  It was the longest that he has ever lived in one house without moving.

For those of you who aren’t intimately familiar with our lives, we decided before Jude was born that we were going to follow God’s call to serve in the country of Moldova for two years following Josh’s graduation from Bible college.  Jude was born in February 2009, and four months later we moved to live back and forth between our parents’ houses for three months before leaving for Moldova in September.

Because of Moldova’s visa requirements, before we got our green cards, we were only allowed to stay in the country for three months, and then we had to be out of the country for three months.  So in December, we packed up and moved back to our parents’ houses for three months.   Back to Moldova in March, we lived for three more months in our tiny apartment on the camp property where the school is.  Then, on May 20^th, we moved down the road into our current residence where we are house and dog-sitting for an American family we work with who are back in America on furlough for eight months.  We have now lived here for five months.

Whew!  That made me tired just typing all of that, much less living it.

So why have we put our son (and ourselves) through so much moving and instability?  Because Josh and I resolved a long time ago to follow God’s call no matter what, and we know that this is what he has called us to do.  Throughout it all, we have clung to Matthew 8:20- “And Jesus said to him, ‘Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay his head.’”  When we follow Christ, he doesn’t promise us a life of ease and stability.  What he does promise us is that, “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39).

Tools for Dads (And Moms, too!)

Big thanks to a very special guest columnist--my very own husband, Joshua Caleb Hutchens-- for this awesome post!

Fatherhood comes with great responsibility.  American culture portrays dads as either stern and distant or goofy and unreliable.  Contrary to these depictions, it is the father--not the mother--who has the primary role in teaching the children about God.  When Moses commands Israel, “You shall teach [God’s commands] diligently to your children,” he is speaking directly to fathers--the heads of the households and clans (Deut 6:6).  This is why he can say that God is the God of their fathers (Deut 6:3).

Proverbs is essentially an entire book focused on the father-child teaching relationship.*  Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.”  So, while Proverbs recognize the indispensable role of a mother, the father is portrayed as the primary teacher of wisdom (a.k.a. the fear of the Lord).

We fathers tend to think of our role as provider in material ways alone.  It is our job to “bring home the bacon.”  We need to remember the words of Jesus:

“Do not lay up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matt 6:19-20).

Material things are precarious and temporary.  The spiritual treasure is eternal and of far greater worth.  If we provide for our families materially but do not provide for them spiritually, then we have failed.

Like every job of fatherhood, a dad needs a good set of tools to instruct his children in the fear of the Lord.  So, for this father’s day I’d like to share a few tools that our family has found helpful in beginning to teach Jude about God.

Hymns

I start with this one because it is free.  In my humble opinion, few modern songs can come close to the theological and emotional depth of hymns, especially the really, really old hymns.  We put together a PDF document of lyrics, titled Lullaby Hymns, of the hymns that we sing most often when putting Jude to sleep.  If you don’t know the tune, NetHymnal can be really helpful since they have the tune for tons of hymns online for free (as far as I know, this is the only website today still using those midi files that we all thought were so cool in the 90s).  We also enjoy Indelible Grace, a group committed to helping churches recover old hymns.  We know many of the hymns in our Lullaby Hymns collection from listening to their music.  Or if you can read music, just pick up an old hymnal.  Whatever you do, sing hymns to and with your children.  Fill their little minds with lyrics about the greatness and the love of God.

The Big Picture Story Bible


There really is nothing like this story Bible on the market today.  It doesn’t focus on individual stories like Noah’s Ark, Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, or Daniel and the Lion’s Den.  It tells the “big picture story” of the entire Bible.  This focus on “the forest rather than the trees” is something that you really must do as a teacher.  The Bible isn’t a book of isolated and unrelated stories like Aesop’s Fables.  It is a book with a single story about God establishing his kingdom.  All the individual stories are encompassed in the grand narrative.  Children must be taught the big story, and this book does exactly that in a way that is understandable for kids and enjoyable for parents.  The illustrations are great and will keep your kids’ attention.

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name


Now of course it is also important for your children to know the individual stories of the Bible.  This book is great for doing just that.  The problem with many story Bibles for little ones is that it ends up moralizing the story.  The story of David and Goliath is given the meaning of courage in the face of adversity, while in fact the story points to Jesus by showing how God conquers his enemies through his anointed king.  An important question to ask yourself when teaching the Old Testament is--”Would a conservative Jew agree with me or want to kill me?”  It is obvious in the book of Acts that the Apostle’s interpretation of the Old Testament caused the latter reaction.  The Old Testament wasn’t meant to teach us how to be nice moral people.  It points to Jesus.  This book tells the individual stories in a captivating way with wonderful illustrations, while at the same time showing how each story points to Jesus.  We gave our copy away and are excited that our parents are bringing another when they come visit next month.

Seeds Family Worship


We’ve just discovered this in the last couple weeks.  This group puts Bible verses (from the NIV) to music.  The value of putting things to music for memory is universally recognized.  So far, Seeds has five CDs based on themes like faith or courage.  The songs are not the annoying children’s tunes that drive you bonkers.  They are enjoyable to listen to, and except for the reserved use of children’s voices you wouldn’t even know that it is children’s music.  CDs are fairly priced and also available on iTunes.  If you can’t afford them all at once, you can still listen online for free.

Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God


Admittedly, we haven’t used this with Jude much yet since it has older children in mind, but we have already been familiarizing ourselves with this book.  It is theologian Bruce Ware’s attempt to reconstruct the many conversations he had with his daughters about God and theology.  He explains things clearly and uses some great illustrations.  It will be a great resource for family worship in the future, and I would highly recommend it for anyone wanting to read a short overview of systematic theology in layman’s terms.

“Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies”


This CD is mostly fun.  It is a great combination of songs about God, silly songs, and lullabies from daddies.  It has everything from the song “God Made Me,” where they sing, “God made me like he made the sea; he filled it up with green and blue.  He sent his Son, his only one, to fill me up and make me new,” to “Bears,” where they sing, “Bears, bears, they got no cares.  Bears don’t drink from a cup.”

“How I Pastor My Family”


This is a short article by Pastor Justin Hyde of Christ Church Brenham, Texas.  It has some interesting suggestions and encouragement for dads.  If you are a dad, then you are the pastor of your family.  You will lead your family spiritually.  The question is--in what direction?

There are many great children’s resources out there.  These are just the current tools we use with our son.  Even though he is just sixteen months old, it is never too soon to begin teaching.  I suspect he is understanding much more than we can know and than he can communicate.  All of these resources will be helpful at least through early elementary school.

Other resources that are on our wish list that you might also find helpful include:

Mighty Acts of God: A Family Bible Story Book


Books by Debby Anderson


Books by Carine Mackenzie (especially the “Learn about God” series)


The “Big Book” Series by Sinclair Ferguson


*Some scholars believe that Proverbs was based on the teacher-pupil relationship since teachers were often addressed as fathers and likewise called their students sons.  Even if this is so, that such language was adopted for the teacher-pupil relationship only serves to prove the point that fathers are instructors.

My Own Personal Jesus

Therefore, behold, I will allure her,

and bring her into the wilderness,

and speak tenderly to her…

And I will betroth you to me forever.  I will betroth you to me in

righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.  I will

betroth you to me in faithfulness.  And you shall know the LORD.

(Hos 3:14,19-20)

Four years ago today, I stood in my parents’ backyard and pledged to live with Joshua Caleb Hutchens “in worshipful imitation of the eternal union of Christ and the Church.”

I’m not even going to try to compete with the beautiful, poetic post that he wrote to commemorate this day, but I just wanted to acknowledge and reflect upon my “own personal Jesus,” as Johnny Cash sang.  I can’t imagine that there is a man out there who is a better Christ imitator than my husband*, as he gives himself up daily for his bride (though I know he would disagree).

He has truly taken to heart the command for husbands to “love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” and in doing so, he has taught me a selflessness that I never even knew was possible (Eph. 5:26).  He washes dishes without complaining (most of the time), rubs my back when it aches even though his aches too, puts work on the back burner on days when things are especially difficult with Jude, tolerates my experiments with gluten and dairy-free cooking, and leads by example with cleaning efforts when I have lacked the time or motivation.   In loving me in this selfless way, he daily increases my affection and appreciation for him, as well as my desire to serve and honor him in the same selfless way.

But in giving himself up for me, Josh doesn’t only cause me to love him more and more.  No, he causes me to love Christ, my Savior, more and more as well, because I know that Josh’s love for me is only a shadow of Christ’s love for me.  And what’s more, I know that it is only Josh’s experience of Christ’s love that enables him to love me in that Christ-imitating way.

My husband shows love for me by doing the dishes, but how much more has Christ done for me?  My husband would die for me, but Christ did die for me, and he bore all the wrath of God for my sins.  I praise my husband now, but how much more will I praise Christ throughout all eternity?

I thank God every day for this Christ-imitator that he has given me, and I pray that it would be his will to allow us to live for many, many more years “in worshipful imitation of the eternal union of Christ and the Church” as a testimony to each other and to the people around us of Christ’s sacrificial love for his Bride, and of the Church’s loving submission to her Lord.

*Note:  I’m sure that many women have wonderful Christ-imitating husbands.  In saying that mine is the best, I’m not putting down anybody else’s husband, I’m only trying to emphasize how amazing my husband is.  It’s kind of like when I was in a play in Elementary school and afterward my mom told me that I was the prettiest one out there, but my best friend heard her and started crying because her mom had said that she was the prettiest one.  (Yes, Amy, I’m talking about you!)  Of course all mothers think that their children are the prettiest/most handsome ones around, and likewise, I pray that there are many men out there who are thought by their wives to be the best Christ-imitators around.

Too Young to Date?

This is awesome.  More Christians need to be telling their children this:

To Santa or Not To Santa?

This is the question we, and many other young families I know, are asking ourselves this Christmas- should we "do" Santa or not?  There are a lot of solid Christians on both sides of this issue, and it is a personal decision for every family.

I recently found a thought-provoking article by Thabiti Anyabwile explaining why Santa is not a part of his family's Christmas.  You can read it here. I particularly like his response to this common objection:

A fair number of parents have, almost in panic, expressed concern that should there be no Santa Claus their children would not have fun at Christmas...  No doubt Christmas is fun. Even as parents, we get great delight from seeing our children's faces as they rummage through the boxes and gifts. But the implication here is that Christmas without the trappings, Christmas exclusively focused on the birth of the Savior, is boring. The argument implies that there is no anticipation associated with awaiting the celebration of Jesus' incarnation.

He also, in another article, gives some tips for parents who choose not to do Santa on how to equip their children to answer the inevitable question, "What is Santa going to bring you this year?"

One very important point that Thabiti makes for those of us who choose not to do Santa, is that it must ALL be done in a spirit of humility.  How easy would it be to look at other families who do believe in Santa and decide we are more holy than they are?  That is just not true.  I know plenty of wonderful Christians who do Santa with their children.  And I have already noticed in trying to explain why we are choosing not to do Santa, it's VERY difficult to do so without sounding self-righteous.  And honestly, even the most humble attempts will still put some people on the defensive.

To sum up the foundation of why we are not doing Santa, I quote one of Thabiti's Q&A that he gives in the second article:

Q: "What's wrong with believing in Santa?"

Ans: "Others can.  But I think it's better to believe in real things that are wonderful and beautiful, like Jesus."

ETA: I just found a really good video on youtube of John Piper preaching about the story of Santa vs. the Gospel of Jesus.  Watch it here.

An Unforgettable Lord's Supper

Sunday morning, just before we woke up, the electricity went out.  Thankfully, the water heater is on propane (that’s the first time I’ve ever been thankful for that!), so we were still able to take hot showers and get ready.  When we arrived at church for the morning service, we discovered that the power was out all over Vatici.

The power stayed off all day and the sun was setting as we prepared to return to church for the evening service, which was to include the Lord’s supper.  A handful of candles were brought into the small room that was overflowing with brothers and sisters of all ages.  We sang, were encouraged and edified by a wonderful sermon from Josh about the significance of the Lord’s supper, and partook of the body and blood of Christ by candlelight.  It was a very beautiful service that I will never forget.

As we prayed to close the service, I silently thanked God for the wonderful candlelit service and prayed for God to please turn our electricity back on now so that we didn’t have to go home to a pitch black apartment with only half of a small candle left for light.  We had no sooner said amen and began collecting our coats when the lights came on!  Praise the Lord, he is so good to his children and faithful to answer even the simplest of prayers!

More Modesty Questions

Hmmm... great thoughts, and thank you to those who commented on my previous post. I'm still mulling over it. Modesty is so multi-faceted.

I agree with what all of you said. I guess more specifically what I'm thinking about is how do we make the jump from

" but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart,"

and

"Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body."

to

"short skirts, low cut tops and body hugging outfits are not what we are going to wear."

I don't disagree with it! I'm just thinking about it.

How much do we take into account cultural changes/differences? Like the story I heard about the middle eastern women who threw their skirts over their heads when a man walked in the room because in their culture it is more shameful for a man to see your face than your legs (that story could be totally wrong, I don't know), or how men in Bible times wore robes that we would essentially consider dresses (and horrific for a man to wear) today.

Is there a way to say that X, Y, and Z are immodest forms of clothing? Or is it completely up to one's conscience? What if a girl says, "You know, God just hasn't convicted me about showing cleavage and midriff." Do you tell her to pray about it some more and He'll show her differently? :D How far do you take that? What if I say, "You know, God just hasn't convicted me about wearing a headcovering/only dresses/no makeup/a burka/you name it." Do you tell me (or think in your head) that if I would just pray about it God would show me differently?

I know there is SO MUCH more to modesty than just clothing, and I know they are all tied to one another, I'm just thinking in a more concrete way right now.

I think that a lot of my wrestling with the practical aspect of this comes from having been essentially a modern-day pharisee before I became a believer, and I projected what I thought was right onto everyone else. So it's really difficult for me not to want some across-the-board standard for what is and is not modest so that I can enforce it in my own life and on others. I know that's not right! I'm just thinking outloud mostly. :) Thanks to anybody who has endured to the end of this rambly post!

Modesty

Every spring as the temperature rises and girls' clothes get skimpier and skimpier, my mind returns to the subject of modesty.

I don't have anything groundbreaking to say about it just yet. I'm still mulling it over in my mind. I will hopefully get my thoughts together for a post about it relatively soon. I mean, I know what MY convictions are, but WHY do I have those convictions? What is our motivation for modesty? What are our guidelines to help us determine what is modest and what is not?

Right now I'm meditating specifically on these two popular modesty verses:

Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. -1 Peter 3:1-6

and

I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. - 1 Timothy 2:8-10

... and I'm thinking about the correlation between what we wear and our hope being in God.

A quick Google search of "biblical modesty" turns up a whole gamut of different opinions, many making definitive statements that this or that apparel is immodest... but I think they are missing the point. There is a heart issue to modesty that goes deeper than just a list of what not to wear, and that is what I am digging for.

What are your thoughts/convictions on modesty?

John Piper: Adoption is Greater than the Universe

This was posted on the Desiring God Blog recently and I think it is just amazing. Watch John Piper talk about adoption from Ephesians 1:

His closing encouragement:

I would suggest that you seriously consider not only supporting, but also doing adoption, both spiritually ... and also in terms of finding children who have no mom and dad who could be folded into a family—just like God planned from eternity to fold sinners like us, through Christ, into his everlasting family of joy.

May God bless you in all your dreaming, all your planning, all your praying, all your working in the cause of adoption.

As I was watching the video, I was struck with how easily I forget the eternal symbolism of adoption. Just as marriage is deeper than two people's desire for companionship -- it is a witness to ourselves and to the world about the church's relationship to Christ -- adoption is more than just a couple's desire for a family (or an addition to their family); it is a testimony to ourselves, to the child, and to the world about what God has done for us through Christ.

If you'd like to explore the subject more, John Piper has a writing called Predestined for Adoption to the Praise of His Glory (I think it is a transcript of a sermon). Much of what he says in the video is said here, but it also goes more in depth.

He also has another writing called Adoption: The Heart of the Gospel that is worth your time. In it, he goes in depth about 8 similarities between what God did in adoption and what happens in a Christian adoption today:

1. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) costly.

2. Adoption did (for God) and does (for us) involve the legal status of the child.

3. Adoption was blessed and is blessed with God’s pouring out a Spirit of sonship.

4. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) marked by moral transformation through the Spirit.

5. Adoption brought us, and brings our children, the rights of being heirs of the Father.

6. Adoption was (for God) and is (for us) seriously planned.

7. Adoption was (for God) and often is now (for us) from very bad situations.

8. Adoption meant (for all Christians) and means (for Christian parents) that we suffer now and experience glory later.

I would just like to echo John Piper's words and sentiment and encourage every Christian couple to seriously pray and consider how God would like to make you a part of the ministry of adoption.