A Trip to Holland

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged, and I hope to rectify that soon and update the blog about what all's been going on in our lives over the past... oh, year or so. But today, in honor of the beginning of Autism Awareness Month, I want to share a short essay that I read once at the beginning of our journey with Jude's autism. I still cry every single time I read it, and it's the single best thing I've ever found to help others understand the emotions of parenting a child who turns out to be something other than typical.

A Trip To Holland
By Emily Perl Kingsley

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability -- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

 When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans... the Coliseum, the Sistine Chapel, Gondolas. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After several months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland!" "Holland?" you say. "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy." But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine, and disease. It's just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met. It's just a different place. It's slower paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around. You begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. And Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, " Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that experience will never, ever, ever, go away. The loss of that dream is a very significant loss. But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland."

Scripture Memorization Made Easy

I was sitting with Jude the other day and singing to him along with one of the Seeds Family Worship albums, when I realized how much scripture I'd memorized just from listening to their music.  We all learn the words to songs almost effortlessly as we listen to them.  Think about all of the songs that you could sing from memory... now think about all of the scripture you can recite from memory.  Embarassed?  I am.

But Seeds understands what a great memorization tool music can be and has made six albums that are all scripture set to music.  The ministry is aimed at families, but you don't have to have kids (or kids of scripture memorizing age) to enjoy this music--it's not too kid-ish for adults.

Possibly the best part is that you can listen to all of their albums for free on their website.  Just go here: Seeds Family Worship- Listen Online. We've listened to them that way for a long time now, and have just started buying the albums on iTunes with some Christmas money.  We listen to it all of the time at home, and we are excited about finally being able to listen to it in the car too.

They also have resources on their website for family worship, worship leaders, and children's ministers.  Also, under the kids section, you can download printable memorization cards and a checklist.

Seeds doesn't know who I am and I'm not getting paid anything to sing their praises.  This is just something that we are really enjoying right now and I wanted to pass it on to my friends.

Book Review: Reclaiming Adoption

Josh just posted a great (if I do say so myself) review of the new book, Reclaiming Adoption on our website.  It's definitely worth clicking over to read, which you can do here.  

Resources for Expectant Parents

**Updated August 2016**

A close friend of mine who is pregnant recently asked me if there were any books or websites that I recommended checking out. I don't think she knew what she was getting herself into by asking me this... when I was pregnant with Jude, I think I read almost 15 books just about birth! So even though this list seems long, know that it is much pared down from what I actually read, and I've only included here the books and websites that I found the most helpful.

There are a lot of decisions to make surrounding birth and babies, and there is freedom for each of us to make the decisions that we feel are best for our babies and our families. I believe that all parents should have access to the resources necessary to make the most informed decisions possible. Your informed decisions may be different than mine, and that is okay with me.

By posting this list, all I am saying is that these are some resources that we found very helpful for making informed decisions when I was pregnant with Jude (and beyond), and I'd like to recommend them to any of my friends who are expecting. With that said, here they are:

About Pregnancy

The Pregnancy Book by Dr. Sears

-Loved it. Don't even bother with What to Expect When You're Expecting.  Get this instead.

About Birth
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer

-If you can only read one book about birth, let it be this one. A must read. She details every decision you may have to make about birth and gives the pros and cons of each. She is very fair and balanced, maybe leaning slightly toward natural birth, but I may have read that into the text because I personally lean toward natural birth, I'm not sure. No matter what kind of birth you are planning or where you are planning on having it, this is a great resource for everyone.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin

-The first half of this book is all very inspiring birth stories, and the second half is the nitty-gritty of childbirth. Ina May is an experienced midwife who runs a birth center in Tennessee, and she is to natural birth what Billy Graham is to Evangelicalism. This book is very empowering and leaves you with an, "I can do it!" attitude.

The Birth Book by Dr. Sears

-Basic and thorough look at all of the aspects of birth and what to expect.

The Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake and Abby Epstein

-This is a great documentary about birth in America, and it also follows Abby through her first pregnancy and birth. We watched it before I was even pregnant and really enjoyed it.

Bradley Childbirth Classes

-We took a Bradley class from a woman in Louisville who later went on to become our doula and good friend. The classes are once a week for 12 weeks, which is a lot, but it was so worth it. It helped us both be more prepared for birth, especially Josh. On the Bradley website, you can search for teachers in your area.

Speaking of our doula, I cannot recommend getting a doula highly enough!

The Evidence for Doulas 
-This is a very thorough article about what doulas are and aren't, as well as lots of research and evidence for why you want to hire one.

4 Reasons Why DAD Deserves a Doula
-Lest you think that your super supportive husband will be all you need, this childbirth educator gives you 4 good reasons why doulas are helpful for dads, too.

For Dads

The Birth Partner by Penny Simkin

-Great book that will really prepare him to help you through the birth. Josh was very scared of the whole thing before reading this book, but afterwards he was empowered and confident.

About Breastfeeding
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by Diane Wiessinger

-I didn't personally read this one, but it's the gold-standard of breastfeeding books.

The Breastfeeding Book by Dr. Sears

-We referenced this book so many times the first few months. It was an invaluable resource to have on hand.

KellyMom.com
-Great website about breastfeeding, started by an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC). There are lots of FAQs about nutrition, nighttime parenting, starting solids, and more. The thing I referenced most on this website is the "Is This Safe While Breastfeeding?" page. Any time I thought about taking a medicine or herbal remedy, I checked out this list first.

Breastfeeding Tips & Guide by Sara Spencer, RN, MSN, Clinical Nurse Specialist 

-Helpful and comprehensive intro to breastfeeding all on one page.

About Vaccines
The Vaccine Book by Dr. Bob Sears

-He goes through each vaccine-preventable disease and what is in each shot, why some parents may have concerns with some of the ingredients, and what he recommends. It is pro-vaccine in that he ultimately recommends all of the shots, but on a delayed schedule. If you do decide to vaccinate, he gives a good delayed schedule to use.

Vaccinations: A Thoughtful Parents Guide by Aviva Jill Romm

-She does a similar thing as Dr. Sears, but has different recommendations. She also gives ways to stay healthy and keep your immune system strong, as well as how to treat the diseases if your child does contract one. I really, really liked this book, and if you only have time to read one book about vaccines, I strongly recommend that it be this one.

When we were looking for resources to help us make the decision about vaccines (or perhaps I should say "decisions," as each vaccine is an individual decision), we wanted books that contained information about the specific diseases and shots, and also gave as unbiased of a view as possible. Dr. Sears's book is probably the least biased of all the pro-vaccine books, and Romm's book is probably the least biased of all the anti-vaccine books. I think these two books together make for a very balanced examination of the vaccine issue.

About Babies
 Spirit-Led Parenting: From Fear to Freedom in Baby's First Year by Megan Tietz and Laura Oyer
-This is a fairly new book that I have just loved. It's two mothers' stories about how they found freedom in learning to trust the Holy Spirit and their God-given intuition with parenting their babies, instead of trusting in the self-proclaimed experts and in their own ability to be super moms. This book is a must-read for every Christian mom, no matter how old your "baby" is or if you are having your first baby or your fifteenth.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley
-I wish we'd found this book when Jude was smaller, I think it could have saved us a lot of sleep. She recommends very gentle ways to help everyone in the family get the best night's sleep possible, and I like her style because it's not, "here's what you should do and if you don't do what I say, then you're going to ruin your baby," but it's very, "here are several suggestions, you pick the things that are the best for your family."

The Baby Book by Dr. Sears
-Another invaluable resource for us the first few months. I feel like we went running to this book multiple times a day trying to figure out if what was happening was normal or what to do in certain situations. Dr. Sears is very much like Elizabeth Pantley in his "here are several suggestions, you pick the things that are the best for your family" approach, which is part of why we have really enjoyed everything we've read of his.

10 Decisions for Parents of Newborns: Part 1 & Part 2 
by Stephanie of Keeper of the Home
-Stephanie takes an approach to the decisions you'll need to make for your newborn that is similar to the vaccine books. For each decision, she discusses why you might want this, and why you might want to opt out. This is a great summary of the barrage of important decisions you'll be met with in baby's first days, and these will be decided for you by hospital staff if you haven't made an informed decision beforehand.

About Babywearing

When Jude was little, we had a soft structured carrier that was handmade by a work at home mom who has since stopped making carriers. I wore Jude in it EVERYWHERE (less so as he got bigger, but Josh still wore him a LOT on our vacation to Greece when he was 1.5 years old) and it was so great to be able to carry him and still have our hands free.

For Man Cub, we bought a Tula and we are loving it.

I recommend buying from:

Frog Mama Baby Carriers

-This is an online friend of mine who sells a big selection of name-brand carriers. All proceeds from her sales go toward her family's upcoming adoption, so you can know that your purchase is benefitting a real family and not just some big corporation. She also has a lot of info about choosing a carrier, instructional videos for how to use them, as well as a few other things like cloth diapers, nursing bras, and nursing necklaces.

I used a Moby Wrap with Jude when he was tiny and it was great. Ring slings are popular, but I got mine when Jude was really too heavy to carry around much, so I can't say a lot about those from personal experience. I got my backpack carrier when Jude was about 4 or 5 months old and I don't think you would really want to use one much sooner than that.

With Man Cub, we used a Baby K'Tan, which is similar to a Moby Wrap, but easier to tie. We honestly didn't use it that much, because it was so thick and cumbersome. We got the Tula when Man Cub was only a couple of weeks old, and used it right away with a baby blanket rolled up under his bum.

About Cloth Diapers

We used all BumGenius 3.0 One-Size pocket diapers with Jude and were very happy with them. They are very easy to use, just like disposables but made out of cloth! They are expensive in the beginning, but after 4 months of use, you break even compared to what you would be spending on disposables, and after that you're just saving money every day.

With Man Cub, we are mostly using Flip diapers, a 2-in-1 system where you lay the insert in the cover. I found myself really tired of stuffing and unstuffing the pocket diapers, and searched for something different this time around. So far we are really happy with the Flips. I tried a few other brands of 2-in-1 diapers, but settled on the Flips primarily because I feel like the stretchy tabs and two rows of snaps gave the best fit. 

Getting Started with Cloth Diapers
-This is a good introduction to the different kinds of cloth diapers available, complete with pictures. I do have to argue with her though, that one-size pocket diapers even out to be just as economical as prefolds and covers, because you have to buy new sizes of prefolds and covers as your baby grows, but one-size diapers are a one-time investment.

Jillian's Drawers

-This is where I bought our diapers. They have an abundance of helpful information under the "New to Cloth?" and "Resources" tabs, and they regularly have sales and free shipping promotions. They also have a program where you can try cloth diapers for 21 days for only $10.  I did this and was really glad I did. This website has a LOT more than just cloth diapers, too.

Why I Loved Evan Almighty

This is an old post that I wrote many, many moons ago on my xanga blog back when Evan Almighty first came out.  Several influential Christian leaders, who hadn't even seen the movie, were blogging their reasons why Christians shouldn't go see the movie.  I, in response, felt the need to inform my little corner of the xanga world (and anybody else who might stumble upon my blog) why the movie was actually worth watching.  I thought it deserved to be re-published here before I finally shut down that old blog:



I loved the way this movie portrayed God.  God was personal.  He was conversational.  He was not "the big guy in the sky" that many people believe him to be.  I loved at the end when Evan is doing the dance that his whole family teases him about; God is doing the dance with him and laughing.  I like the picture of God enjoying my silliness as I enjoy the life that He has blessed me with, because I believe that's what He truly does.

I loved many of the very pointed statements that are made about the character of God.  At one point he asks Joan (Lorelai Gilmore... probably more recognizable than her real name) something to the effect of: "When someone prays for courage, do you think God gives them courage, or does he give them a moment to be courageous? When someone prays for the family to be closer, does he sprinkle around happiness, or does he give them an opportunity to be closer?"  There is also a part where Evan doesn't understand why God is asking him to build an ark, and God tells him, "Everything I do, I do because I love you."  And then later when Evan is really struggling, he reminds himself of this.  There are several more.  Oh, my favorite one is when Evan says, "But this isn't a part of my plans!!" and God just absolutely cracks up laughing and says (through gasps, cause he's laughing so hard), "YOUR plan?!?!  HAHAHAHAHA!!"

I loved how it showed God getting his message to Evan.  God doesn't always work in the same ways, and I would say that it is rarely as blatant as presented in this movie, but I have had personal experiences where God gets his message across to me by "coincidences" that occur enough times that His direction in your life becomes inescapable.  And even more general than that, through these "coincidences" in Evan's life, the movie displays God's sovereignty over all things.  At the end of the movie, Evan expresses his amazement with how God orchestrated everything so perfectly.

I loved that they didn't try to act like this was a new flood, or that God had gone back on His promise in the Noah story, or that this was supposed to BE the Noah story.  It's very clear that none of those is the case.  It's hard to say much more about that without giving a major part of the story away, so I'll leave it at that.  It did, however, make real to me some of the reactions that Noah probably faced when building the ark.

I loved that this movie was HILARIOUS.  Seriously.  I laughed out loud more times than I can count, and I'm not one that generally laughs very much in movies.  And there's this one scene toward the end where they're in the boat and go over this waterfall and I literally grabbed both armrests and leaned way back and got that same weird feeling like when you get to the top of a big roller coaster and are about to go flying down a steep drop!  It was great!

I loved that it was clean and wholesome.  Period.

I loved that this was a "green" movie.  This is something Josh and I learned while researching it before it came out in theaters.  All the landscaping, lumber, windows and other reusable materials were donated to Habitat for Humanity.  All crew members were given bicycles by director Tom Shadyac to reduce car usage.  Learn more about that here: http://www.getonboardnow.org/comedy.html

One thing I didn't love was the movie's interpretation of the Noah story being all about love and not wrath.  I disagree with that.  However, I know that there are a lot of Christians out there who would agree with it and I'm not going to call them heretics just because of that one nonessential point.

So there's my review!

Long Story Short

This is a post written by my husband and posted on our mission website, GospelLife.  I wanted to share it here as well:

One of the most exciting and challenging aspects of being a dad is leading family worship.  Fathers have the duty and privilege to train their children in the fear of the Lord, and the best way to do this is little-by-little, consistently over time.

To help with this task is the new book Long Story Short: Ten Minute Devotions to Draw Your Family to God.  The current volume covers the Old Testament.   The New Testament volume is still forthcoming.

I have read the introduction and a preview of the first two weeks of devotions, which are available here.  Let me outline a few reasons why I am excited about this resource and why you should check it out too:

It is simple. You don’t need an hour every night.  All you need is ten minutes, five times a week--fifty minutes a week.  Furthermore, all that is needed for dad to prepare is a simple read through--at most five minutes.  That makes discipling your children not feel like such an impossible undertaking.  You can let the Word of God transform your children’s lives with only fifty minutes a week.

It spans age ranges.  The author explains in the introduction how with some tweaking the material can target children from four to teenagers, and also how to use the material when you have a combination of ages and maturities.

It is creative. Every week begins with a creative activity or object lesson to introduce the week’s topic.  Almost every day contains an illustration to help the kids understand.

It is systematic and comprehensive. The entire curriculum for both Old and New Testaments will take a family three years to complete.  The topics and stories are intentionally chosen to give your child a comprehensive knowledge of the Bible.  Once you have finished the three years, then it is time to start over again since about every three years your child reaches a new developmental stage.  They will be able to think about the stories and questions in a way that is different and more complex than in the previous cycle.

It combines teaching of stories with teaching of the Story. This is probably one of my favorite parts.  It is hard to find resources that both teach the details of individual Bible stories and show how it connects to the great Narrative of Scripture--the Story of Jesus.  One night of every week is spent showing how the current topic connects to Jesus.  Many resources simply give Bible stories with moral lessons, but the story of David and Goliath, for example, is not about having courage in the face of adversity.  It is about how God’s anointed king is empowered to destroy the enemies of God, which points us to King Jesus.  In the “Introduction to Parents,” the author explains:



A man-centered gospel is always threatening to supplant the cross-centered gospel we read in the Bible. But if we trade Jesus, who bore our sins and received the wrath of God, for a Jesus who is merely a good example, we don’t have the same gospel. If we remove a call to repentance and replace it with an invitation to be God’s friend, we’re not passing on the treasure of the gospel in accordance with the Scriptures (p. 1).



So, you can trust this resource for both Bible knowledge and Gospel-centrality.

It gets children to use their Bibles. This is not a Bible storybook.  Bible storybooks have their place, but this is a book to be used alongside your Bible.  Children will turn to and read directly from the Bible rather than just being told about what the Bible says.

It is not based in a  particular translation. When quoting from Scripture the book uses the ESV and NIV, but the questions and answers are not bound by the words of a particular translation.  So, you are free to use whatever translation your family chooses.  In my opinion, it is best to use a single translation throughout a child’s life rather than using a “simpler” translation like the NIV or NLT when children are young, and then graduating children to a more literal translation like the NKJV or ESV.  Gone are the days when all English speakers read, know, and quote from the same translation.  However, in your home, it is good to be consistent, and thereby plant the words of Scripture firmly in the minds of children.  Children will passively memorize Scripture through repetition, just like many of us who grew up in Christian homes can almost quote verbatim passages from the KJV that we have never tried to memorize.  Therefore, I think it best to stick with one translation throughout a child’s life, and I think a literal translation is best.  We use the ESV in our home, and this resource allows for that choice.

Jude is still too young to use this book yet, but we are looking forward to the time when we can give it a real test-drive.  However, those of you with children a little older should go ahead and check it out.  God will bless you as you are faithful to teach your children the words of Scripture and bring them before the throne of God in prayer.

Preview and Buy Online

It Will Change Your Life

The boy who made me a mother.  I love him so much it makes my heart hurts.

Josh is taking an online Family Ministry class this fall, and one of the books he is reading for it is Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood, edited by Wayne Grudem and Dennis Rainey.  This morning, he had me read a section out of it that stopped me in my tracks; it is possibly the most beautiful description of motherhood that I have ever read:

Time is running out for my friend.  While we are sitting at lunch, she casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of “starting a family.”  What she means is that her biological clock has begun its countdown, and she is being forced to consider the prospect of motherhood.

“We’re taking a survey,” she says half joking.  “Do you think I should have a baby?”

“It will change your life,” I say carefully, keeping my tone neutral.

“I know,” she says.  “No more spontaneous vacations…”

But that is not what I mean at all, and I try to decide what to tell her.  I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes: that the physical wounds of childbearing heal, but that becoming a mother will leave an emotional wound so raw that she will be forever vulnerable.  I consider warning her that she will never read a newspaper again without asking “What if that had been my child?”  That every plane crash, every fire will haunt her.  That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of bear protecting her cub.  That an urgent call of “MOM!” will cause her to drop her best crystal without a moment’s hesitation.

I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.  Oh, she might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think about her baby’s sweet smell.  She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.  I want my friend to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine.  That a 5-year-old boy’s desire to go to the men’s restroom rather than the women’s at a restaurant will become a major dilemma.  That issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that men’s restroom.  However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.  That her life now, so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.  That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish his.

My friend’s relationship with her husband will change, but not in the ways she thinks.  I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is always careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his son or daughter.  I think she should know that she will fall in love with her husband all over again, but for reasons she would now find very unromantic.  I want to describe to my fiend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a baseball.  I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog for the first time.  I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

My friend’s quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.  “You’ll never regret it,” I finally say.  Then squeezing my friend’s hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.

The above quote was written by Dale Hanson Bourke (a woman!), and originally published in her book, Everyday Miracles.  I have typed out the section in its entirety here because I was unable to find it anywhere online.  I hope that’s okay, since I am giving full credit to the author.

Tools for Dads (And Moms, too!)

Big thanks to a very special guest columnist--my very own husband, Joshua Caleb Hutchens-- for this awesome post!

Fatherhood comes with great responsibility.  American culture portrays dads as either stern and distant or goofy and unreliable.  Contrary to these depictions, it is the father--not the mother--who has the primary role in teaching the children about God.  When Moses commands Israel, “You shall teach [God’s commands] diligently to your children,” he is speaking directly to fathers--the heads of the households and clans (Deut 6:6).  This is why he can say that God is the God of their fathers (Deut 6:3).

Proverbs is essentially an entire book focused on the father-child teaching relationship.*  Proverbs 1:8 says, “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching.”  So, while Proverbs recognize the indispensable role of a mother, the father is portrayed as the primary teacher of wisdom (a.k.a. the fear of the Lord).

We fathers tend to think of our role as provider in material ways alone.  It is our job to “bring home the bacon.”  We need to remember the words of Jesus:

“Do not lay up treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal” (Matt 6:19-20).

Material things are precarious and temporary.  The spiritual treasure is eternal and of far greater worth.  If we provide for our families materially but do not provide for them spiritually, then we have failed.

Like every job of fatherhood, a dad needs a good set of tools to instruct his children in the fear of the Lord.  So, for this father’s day I’d like to share a few tools that our family has found helpful in beginning to teach Jude about God.

Hymns

I start with this one because it is free.  In my humble opinion, few modern songs can come close to the theological and emotional depth of hymns, especially the really, really old hymns.  We put together a PDF document of lyrics, titled Lullaby Hymns, of the hymns that we sing most often when putting Jude to sleep.  If you don’t know the tune, NetHymnal can be really helpful since they have the tune for tons of hymns online for free (as far as I know, this is the only website today still using those midi files that we all thought were so cool in the 90s).  We also enjoy Indelible Grace, a group committed to helping churches recover old hymns.  We know many of the hymns in our Lullaby Hymns collection from listening to their music.  Or if you can read music, just pick up an old hymnal.  Whatever you do, sing hymns to and with your children.  Fill their little minds with lyrics about the greatness and the love of God.

The Big Picture Story Bible


There really is nothing like this story Bible on the market today.  It doesn’t focus on individual stories like Noah’s Ark, Joshua and the Battle of Jericho, or Daniel and the Lion’s Den.  It tells the “big picture story” of the entire Bible.  This focus on “the forest rather than the trees” is something that you really must do as a teacher.  The Bible isn’t a book of isolated and unrelated stories like Aesop’s Fables.  It is a book with a single story about God establishing his kingdom.  All the individual stories are encompassed in the grand narrative.  Children must be taught the big story, and this book does exactly that in a way that is understandable for kids and enjoyable for parents.  The illustrations are great and will keep your kids’ attention.

The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name


Now of course it is also important for your children to know the individual stories of the Bible.  This book is great for doing just that.  The problem with many story Bibles for little ones is that it ends up moralizing the story.  The story of David and Goliath is given the meaning of courage in the face of adversity, while in fact the story points to Jesus by showing how God conquers his enemies through his anointed king.  An important question to ask yourself when teaching the Old Testament is--”Would a conservative Jew agree with me or want to kill me?”  It is obvious in the book of Acts that the Apostle’s interpretation of the Old Testament caused the latter reaction.  The Old Testament wasn’t meant to teach us how to be nice moral people.  It points to Jesus.  This book tells the individual stories in a captivating way with wonderful illustrations, while at the same time showing how each story points to Jesus.  We gave our copy away and are excited that our parents are bringing another when they come visit next month.

Seeds Family Worship


We’ve just discovered this in the last couple weeks.  This group puts Bible verses (from the NIV) to music.  The value of putting things to music for memory is universally recognized.  So far, Seeds has five CDs based on themes like faith or courage.  The songs are not the annoying children’s tunes that drive you bonkers.  They are enjoyable to listen to, and except for the reserved use of children’s voices you wouldn’t even know that it is children’s music.  CDs are fairly priced and also available on iTunes.  If you can’t afford them all at once, you can still listen online for free.

Big Truths for Young Hearts: Teaching and Learning the Greatness of God


Admittedly, we haven’t used this with Jude much yet since it has older children in mind, but we have already been familiarizing ourselves with this book.  It is theologian Bruce Ware’s attempt to reconstruct the many conversations he had with his daughters about God and theology.  He explains things clearly and uses some great illustrations.  It will be a great resource for family worship in the future, and I would highly recommend it for anyone wanting to read a short overview of systematic theology in layman’s terms.

“Slugs & Bugs & Lullabies”


This CD is mostly fun.  It is a great combination of songs about God, silly songs, and lullabies from daddies.  It has everything from the song “God Made Me,” where they sing, “God made me like he made the sea; he filled it up with green and blue.  He sent his Son, his only one, to fill me up and make me new,” to “Bears,” where they sing, “Bears, bears, they got no cares.  Bears don’t drink from a cup.”

“How I Pastor My Family”


This is a short article by Pastor Justin Hyde of Christ Church Brenham, Texas.  It has some interesting suggestions and encouragement for dads.  If you are a dad, then you are the pastor of your family.  You will lead your family spiritually.  The question is--in what direction?

There are many great children’s resources out there.  These are just the current tools we use with our son.  Even though he is just sixteen months old, it is never too soon to begin teaching.  I suspect he is understanding much more than we can know and than he can communicate.  All of these resources will be helpful at least through early elementary school.

Other resources that are on our wish list that you might also find helpful include:

Mighty Acts of God: A Family Bible Story Book


Books by Debby Anderson


Books by Carine Mackenzie (especially the “Learn about God” series)


The “Big Book” Series by Sinclair Ferguson


*Some scholars believe that Proverbs was based on the teacher-pupil relationship since teachers were often addressed as fathers and likewise called their students sons.  Even if this is so, that such language was adopted for the teacher-pupil relationship only serves to prove the point that fathers are instructors.

Some Thoughts on Overtiredness

As I write this, after 9:30 pm, Josh is pacing and singing with Jude in our backpack carrier while Jude screams and cries because he is too tired to fall asleep.  We’ve been trying to get him to go to sleep for over an hour to no avail.

For the first year of Jude’s life, this was how it went at every nap and bedtime—endless hours of pacing, singing, and screaming—and we thought it was normal.  Or, rather, we just didn’t know what we could possibly do differently (besides letting him cry-it-out, which is not something we have ever considered to be an option).

Now, maybe most new parents have more common sense than we do, or “easier” babies, or something… I don’t know…. but I feel compelled to write this post because it would have saved us a LOT of misery if someone had told me a year ago that overtiredness is a very strong adversary of sleep.

It wasn’t until after reading The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley (she has another book specifically for babies, too) that I realized that we were waiting way too late to start putting Jude to sleep.  We were waiting until he was noticeably tired—yawning, rubbing his eyes, getting frustrated/upset more easily, etc.—to start getting him ready for bed.  The problem was that, by the time we figured out he was tired, he had already switched into overtired mode.  The tricky thing is that overtired mode is really fun and cute, so he would get really hyper and funny and we would think, “well, this is the happiest he’s been all day, we might as well enjoy it and let him get all of this energy out before trying to put him to bed.”  And then after about 30 minutes to an hour of that, he would switch from overtired to just miserably tired, and we would begin the hour or more of pacing, singing, and screaming, generally not getting him into bed before 9:30 or 10:00 pm.

So now, although I am not in favor of strict scheduling of small babies, I realize that it is in his best interest for us to recognize the times of day that he naturally gets sleepy, and to start his nap/bedtime routine (having a predictable wind-down routine is also something I learned from Pantley’s book) just before that time hits.  Right now, at 15 months old, those times are 11:00 am and 7:00 pm.  So he usually doesn’t even seem that sleepy at 10:45 am or 6:30 pm, but if we were to wait just 30 more minutes, he would be in overtired mode.  On a good day, when I am able to time it just right, he falls asleep with almost no effort.

Today, however, was not one of those days.  Sometimes, for various reasons, we are not able to get him to sleep before overtired hits and we wind up with a miserable little boy who is too tired to fall asleep, and miserable parents who are tired too.  But when we have a night like this (which is increasingly rare as we recognize just how important good sleep scheduling is for him), we remember how we used to go through this every night, and are thankful that the Lord finally showed us a better way!

We are the farthest thing from having any pretense of having everything figured out, but we pray every day that he would continue to guide us and give us wisdom for raising this wonderful little boy that he has blessed us with.  I pray that he would use this to help someone who reads it, because I know it would have definitely helped me if I’d have known this a year or more ago.

Adoption, Attachment Disorder, and Spanking

Since Josh and I weren’t able to attend this year’s Adopted for Life Conference at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, we downloaded recordings of the sessions from the SBTS website’s resources section and have been listening to them as often as we can.  The sessions have all been great so far, and I would recommend them to anyone, whether you have adopted, are considering adoption, know someone who has adopted, or anyone else, really!

The one we listened to today was especially intriguing—it was Dr. Timothy Paul Jones, professor at SBTS, talking about attachment disorders in children who have been adopted.  He and his wife adopted a daughter from foster care, and she had severe Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), which, he says, is extremely common of children who come from orphanages or foster care.  The entire lecture was fascinating, and I will encourage you to listen to it for yourself rather than do him the injustice of trying to paraphrase, but I want to zero in on one thing he mentioned that stuck out to me.

Dr. Jones spoke about how children with RAD have constant increased levels of cortisol, a stress hormone.  This causes, among other things, their pain tolerance levels to be very, very high.  He mentioned that, while he is not against spanking in general, he does not believe that it is an effective discipline tool for such children because, “to get to the point where you actually have an effective spanking episode, you would have to engage in full-fledged abuse with children that are RAD.”

I immediately wondered if this could be a contributing factor in the recent death of Lydia Schatz, a young girl whose Christian adoptive parents literally beat her to death in the name of discipline?

No matter what methods of correction parents would choose during more normal circumstances, it is important for adopting families to inform themselves about the symptoms of, and help for, RAD, and to carefully consider how the likelihood of RAD will affect their parenting choices.

Too Young to Date?

This is awesome.  More Christians need to be telling their children this:

Fifth Disease

Jude's had it this week.  It's not as bad as it sounds, really... he just seemed like he had a cold for a few days, and then just as he seemed to have gotten better, he got this awful red rash on his face:

I took this just last night, but this morning he woke up and it was gone!

You  can learn more about Fifth Disease here.

I Saved $1,600 in 6 Months!

Wow!  How did I do it?

First, I use cloth diapers and wipes.  Our entire diaper stash was purchased either as baby gifts or with baby gift money, so we have spent exactly $0 purchasing diapers in the last 6 months.  Yes, there is a negligible amount of money spent on laundering the diapers.  About 6 cents per load for electricity and water.  Compare that to the average cost of about $70 per month for disposable diapers and wipes.

Second, I breastfeed.  Compare that to buying formula, which costs roughly $180 per month (that's actually on the very lowest end of the price spectrum), and buying all of the bottle-feeding supplies, which will be about $100 extra if not more.  I understand that the extra $100 for supplies could also apply to breastfeeding moms who pump, but I haven't bothered with any of that so in my case it doesn't count.



Also, don't forget another hidden savings of breastfeeding... the US Department of Health and Human Services reported that “Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed in­fants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations.” (see here)

So add those together and I saved my family *at least* $1,600 just in the last 6 months!  And the saving just keep adding up every day... awesome!

Lullaby Hymns

Since having J, Hubs and I have spent many, many hours pacing the floors and singing to him in attempts to lull him into dreamland.  During that time, I've noticed that most children's lullabys are seriously lacking in substance.

For starters, most of them are WAY too short for the amount of time that it takes J to fall asleep.  I don't know, maybe some people out there have babies who can fall asleep in 10 seconds or less, but I don't.  And I get tired of singing the same 4 lines over and over again.

Also, the subjects of these songs can be atrocious!  Think about singing, "Hush little baby, don't say a word, Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird.  And if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you..."  The whole song is based on the idea that money can fix everything.  I don't need to be filling our heads with that nonsense.

Or let's sing "Rock a bye baby, in the tree top.  When the wind blows, the cradle will rock.  When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall, and down will come baby cradle and all."  What???  Am I the only one who doesn't see anything soothing about images of my baby and his cradle crashing to the ground in a windstorm?

Ok, enough ranting about lullabys and onto the purpose for this post.  Hubs and I have been singing hymns to J as we walk or rock him to sleep.  They are wonderful to teach your children and personally encouraging for me.  We quickly tired of the same handful of hymns to which we knew all of the words, however, and flipping through the hymnal to find songs that are both soothing and ones you know can be a challenge.

So this morning I put together a collection of Lullaby Hymns to be printed out and kept for easy reference during sleepy times.  Some of the songs may have to be slowed down a bit from how you are accustomed to singing them, but make wonderful lullabys when you do so.  I then decided to post them on here as a resource for any other parents who may be tired of their lullaby options.  So without further ado, I give you:


Lullaby Hymns pdf


Updated 6/14/10- added several new songs and fixed typos

Updated 7/13/09- changed to PDF instead of docx

This Was So Us Today...

Seriously.  It was not our best day.